Things My Roommate Says

*Text message*

-”Where are you?”

-”I got bored and left, like most of the men in your life, I’m sure.” -JC

*Shoveled snow off of driveway for 2 hours and went to friend’s house*

-”Yeah, you can shovel my driveway now.”

-”Tch. You can’t shovel dirt.”

-(Blank Stare)

-”I mean, you can’t shovel gravel.”

-(Blank Stare)

-”I mean, shut up!” – JC

*Playing Left 4 Dead — Tank hits Survivor with a car*

“Man, that was a car-ismatic entrance.” – JC

“Looks like he died from car-diac arrest.” – RH

Let’s be real:

Putting more stupid things in the same room doesn’t make any of them smarter…

Let’s say, for example, that all fruit is stupid and all stupid things misbehave. We put a fruit in a room; therefore, there is something dumb in the room that does undesirable things . If we put more fruit in that same room, that does not mean that the fruit will set good examples for each other and that they will all behave. No. That’s impossible because all fruit are stupid and all stupid things misbehave. It means there are now several stupid things in the same room that are all doing undesirable things, and the amount of stupidity and undesirable behavior in the room has multiplied.