Things My Roommate Says

Let’s be real:

Putting more stupid things in the same room doesn’t make any of them smarter…

Let’s say, for example, that all fruit is stupid and all stupid things misbehave. We put a fruit in a room; therefore, there is something dumb in the room that does undesirable things . If we put more fruit in that same room, that does not mean that the fruit will set good examples for each other and that they will all behave. No. That’s impossible because all fruit are stupid and all stupid things misbehave. It means there are now several stupid things in the same room that are all doing undesirable things, and the amount of stupidity and undesirable behavior in the room has multiplied.

Many people believe that emotions are unlimited and depend on the personality of the individual.  Nah.  My theory is that happiness is finite, and we use it up as we grow older.  This explains why things become less fun as you get older and life gets more depressing.  Theoretically, we are born with enough happiness to last us our entire lives but the problem is that we use it up on stupid shit.  Allow me to explain.

When you are born, you have a completely full “happiness pool”.  The first few weeks of a new born baby’s life are scary, so no happiness is used up.  However, after a few months you begin playing with toys.  You throw a ball, it makes a sound, and you laugh.  Rinse, Repeat.  Here happiness is depleting at a rapid rate for a stupid reason.  This is the main reason you become more unhappy as you age, you use up all your happiness and fun as a kid.  This explains why a kid’s imagination is better, cardboard boxes were more fun as a kid, and things were all around better “back in the day”.  So the reason you are 35 years and your marriage is crap is because you spent all that time as a kid having to much fun.