Things My Roommate Says

Let’s be real:

Putting more stupid things in the same room doesn’t make any of them smarter…

Let’s say, for example, that all fruit is stupid and all stupid things misbehave. We put a fruit in a room; therefore, there is something dumb in the room that does undesirable things . If we put more fruit in that same room, that does not mean that the fruit will set good examples for each other and that they will all behave. No. That’s impossible because all fruit are stupid and all stupid things misbehave. It means there are now several stupid things in the same room that are all doing undesirable things, and the amount of stupidity and undesirable behavior in the room has multiplied.

*Picks up dull machete*

-”Man, you couldn’t cut the broad side of a barn with this thing.”

-”…Why would you want to?”

-”Hmm…” -JC

“He looked me dead in the eye and shit on my dreams…” -JC